Why you should love yourself first ….

Being a pleaser it was so hard for me to love myself first or really know what it means. My natural instincts are to help people in no matter what situation they are in and to give answers, relieve them from agony or worries and bring them to happiness. I have always been naturally drawn to people in need. Broken people. If you weren’t broken, then I wasn’t attracted to you and I really had nothing to say to you. It sounds kind of sad, but it also means that that was one way my personality stayed true to my soul.

While trying to figure out the true purpose of my life and my career, it was very easy and natural to help people close to me. I married a man that I treated as a patient, with all of the physical disabilities as well as the emotional healing that was needed inside. I gave so much for 7 years, it took away from me, and it ended up breaking me. I realized I had to go if I wanted to be a whole person and a good mother and role model to my children.

I found out the stubborn way that giving away my happiness and trying to please others before myself was not the way to go.

You cannot give what you don’t have, which means that we must first satisfy and love ourselves.

“Let your cups runneth over, and with the overflow you can bless those around you.” If we don’t fill our own cups, meaning if we don’t make ourselves happy, then we cannot give to others and make them happy. This is a lesson I had to learn the hard way. It took me about 12 years. I had the innocent belief that as long as I gave to someone else, it would come back to me by that person. This is a false statement.

This is why I now strongly feel and want to share how important it is to love yourself first. If we don’t love ourselves, we start to blame others for our unhappiness which will create a negative cycle. When we don’t love ourselves, we become depleted of love, we become exhausted and we start to live in pain. In worst case scenarios we start to look and reach for external band-aids, like alcohol, drugs, sex or any other fear based action. These fear based actions wont cover the problem, they merely create a temporary high or distraction to cover up the void, the pain, the need for love that is underneath.

The love we give ourselves is what gives us permission to be who we truly are and what we want to be. When we love ourselves we act on what is inside and what wants to come out. Fear is what holds us back and what keeps us from not living our full potential.

So I realized I needed to change my approach and figure out a way to help and inspire, to support and love, to create awareness and increase consciousness. The journey starts with me, which is the journey of loving myself and being good to myself, being good to myself and committing to myself.

A wise woman said, that in pain we have power: First comes the pain, then comes the rising. The pain we suffer is the lesson to feel and to translate to others. The pain makes us stronger and once we own up to it, we can release it and realize how strong and powerful we are.

So I accept my pain and my fear and Im giving it to God, and I will embark on this journey, that I know will lead me to my path.

So love yourself! Celebrate yourself! Be grateful of who you are, and give yourself what you deserve! Trust your instincts and take care of those instincts. Give yourself the love and the permission to be yourself. You are created beautifully and perfectly for your purpose, and you don’t need anyone else’s love or approval to be who you want to be.